This past weekend I was lucky enough to be a part of a good friends wedding. In writing the toast I was to give at the rehearsal dinner I knew I wanted to keep it light. Not too sappy. And since I’m coming up on two years of marriage I thought I should give done marriage advice. Yes it has only been two years BUT that is two years more than Jess and Chad have under their belt so that makes me some-what of an expert. And with that, here are the top lessons I shared to the soon to be newlyweds:
Lesson 1- Never ever talk bad about your husband to anyone. Be proud and brag. Let Chad hear you talking about him in glowing terms to other people. Be loud and be obvious. Being a loud Italian woman this shouldn’t be hard to do. This will mean everything to him.
Lesson 2. Go to bed mad. Yep that’s right. The old saying that you shouldn’t go to bed mad is stupid. Sometimes you need to just go to freaking bed. Trying to talk reasonably when you are worked up and overtired never works. So just shut up, go to bed, and let you and your husband get some sleep. In the morning, have morning sex, eat some pancakes. Everything will seem better. You may even forget what you were so mad about in the first place.
Lesson 3- Dream big. Whether is a new job you want to take or a vacation that you have been planning for months, you should share it with him. If he loves you, he will support your dreams. A good husband will never keep you from your dreams. A great husband will tell you that your dreams are now his dreams.
Lesson 4- Respect your husband. We women ask for all kinds of things. Kisses every night. Date night once a week. Take our the garbage. Throw out your coffee filters. Women are needy. And we know it. But really all a man wants is to feel respected. So don’t belittle him. Don’t put him down. Even if he does something that is so outrageously stupid (and he will) or when he finds a way to man-handle something that is very fragile to you and it breaks (which could happen), don’t insult him. He didn’t do it on purpose. And by putting him down you have no created an even bigger problem in his eyes.
Lesson 5- Be happy with the now. This means that even though your friends might be out buying fancy houses and cars and you’re not, that’s ok. Or having babies and you’re not yet doing so. That’s ok. You got one thing that they don’t. You have your man. You have an amazing husband who vowed to love you forever. Don’t waste time complaining about something you don’t have. Instead laugh and smile about the great things in life that you do have. And in this world there is nothing else, no car, no house, no fancy shoes that will compare to that. Love really is all you will need and if you have that then you already have everything.