10 Ways to Celebrate Not-A-Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there! I just got home from an amazing girls weekend with my two best gals from college. These two wonderful mommas were able to take some time away from their kids for a nice relaxing weekend full of shopping, Friends marathon watching, junk food eating, and sun tanning. No husbands and no kids! Now this time last year for Mother’s Day, Will gave me a card that was “signed” by our two dogs and the cat. “Thanks for being our mommy,” it read. And while I am indeed a mother to these three fur babies, I smiled as I read this a year ago, certain that it would the last year I was not a mother to a child. But here we are a year later. Still no baby. Still not a real mother. (However, still up to my knees with pet dander and hair balls). So this year, we came up with a plan. Since this is definitely going to be the last year I am not a mother, let’s celebrate the day by doing all the things we most likely wouldn’t do if we had a growing fetus in my belly, a newborn sucking on my chest, or a toddler shoveling Play-Doh up his nose.  So here is our list of the top 10 things to do on Not-A- Mothers Day.

1. Sleep in until 10:00 am 

2. Decide at the last minute to go for a road trip. 

3. Get drunk at 2:00 in the afternoon.

4. Make plans to go to the park, tell everyone, and then just don’t go because there is a new episode of Love It or List It on HGTV.

5. Watch Pulp Fiction with the volume turned up really loud. Then constantly go around quoting the movie . “They don’t know what the fuck a quarter pounder is.” Classic. 

6. Have sex on the kitchen counter. Twice.

7. Go the the beach and only bring a towel, a cooler of beer, and a kickball. Maybe some SPF. But only SPF 15.

8. Start a craft project that involves scissors, a hot glue gun, and an Exacto knife. Leave your project right there on the floor and go take a nap on the couch.

9. Eat your wait in non-pasteurized cheeses.

10. Sit for 30 minutes in complete silence out by the harbor, watching the sunset, listening to only the sounds of the waves crashing and the birds chirping. 

Ok so we didn’t quite accomplish ALL of these things but maybe some of you non-mothers and non-fathers did! Also I won’t tell you which of these we achieved today but what I can say is that cheese grits for breakfast, feta cheese salad for lunch, and a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner is a pretty solid day of eating and John Travolta and Samuel L Jackson have never been funnier.  Check and check.

So to all of you mothers and non- mother’s out there, I hope you celebrated this day happily and with the ones you love. And to all you wanna-be mammas like myself, I’m sending you lots of good vibes and baby love in hopes that this will be the last Not-A-Mother’s Day that you will have to celebrate. And I leave you with a photo of my three babies and the man that is destined to be the best father there ever was.

petsxxoo Priscilla


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