For anyone who has struggled with infertility, you know that there are a few days a year that sting a little more than others. The day you go to the baby shower for your co-worker who got pregnant by accident. The due date of the baby that you should of had but instead miscarried last fall. The yearly anniversary of the day you decided to start having a family. And then, last but not least, there is Mother’s Day. And with all the TV commercials and Hallmark moments, you find it pretty impossible to avoid this holiday. And to avoid the fact that another year has come and gone and you are still not a mother. I remember two years ago my husband saying this would be the last year we celebrated with our mothers and that next year would be all about me. I laughed and told him, “Okay, we’ll see.” And then this time last year, I was the one who said out loud “Alright, this is it. This time next year I will be a mama.” And now here we are. 2015. And I’m still not a mother. So I guess that leaves me with two options this Sunday. Sit in my room, sulking at the posts on my Facebook news feed? Or enjoy this last year as Not-a-Mother by doing all the things that one might do if you did not have any children. Spend the day having fun and enjoying what you have now and not won’t you don’t have. Because staying positive and finding ways to laugh instead of cry is the best thing you can do for your body. And if you send positive energy out into the world, the universe is sure to send some good fortune your way. (It’s a theory of mine; let’s just roll with it.) So to carry on the tradition from last year’s blog post, here are some ways you can celebrate Not-a-Mother’s Day:
- Sit around all day and binge watch all 12 episodes of Orange is the New Black on Netflix. (And yes Apple TV, I am still here. I haven’t left the couch. So stop asking.)
- Go out to a restaurant and sit at the bar instead of a table. Get elbowed by strangers and order a side of filet minion with lobster mashed potatoes that they serve in a martini glass.
- Have sex with your husband in the middle of the day in the family room. Repeat as needed.
- Take a flight out of town, grab a window seat, and sleep peacefully for the entire 5 hour flight.
- Invent a new drinking game. Maybe one in which you have to take a tequila shot every time one of the characters on Sons of Anarchy says, “I love you brother.”
- Camp out on Capers Island for the weekend. Bring nothing but a tent, your swimsuit, and a cooler full of adult beverages.
- Go see a movie in the theaters. When it gets out, sneak into the theater next door and catch another movie for free. (That does not count as stealing, right?)
- Go to an amusement park, stay the entire day, and only ride the really big roller coasters. Walk straight past all cartoon characters. You do not need their autographs.
- Go get a couples massage at that fancy hotel spa downtown and at the last minute decide to get a room for the night.
- Stay in bed until noon and when you finally decide to relocate to the family room, eat left over sushi for breakfast. Then see step #3. Repeat as indicated the next day.
The above post was featured on Society Letters, a collaborative blog that is a collection of letters and posts by several women from all over the world who are sharing their views, talents and life with readers. I was honored to be a guest blogger for this week’s Mother’s Day series. Check them out. You’ll be hooked.