I loved you even then

Dear Liam,
Today, my darling, is your first birthday. You are exactly one year old. I cannot begin to explain how much your daddy and I love you. You have brought such a wonderful, magical presence into our world. We love you so much. And you must be thinking “wow, a whole year. that’s a long time.” But sweet boy, I have loved you so much longer than that. When you were still in my belly, Daddy and I would lay in bed and watch you kicking and moving. We were so in love already and dad even said how silly it was to love someone that we’d never even met. I told him this and I’ll tell you now:

When I was a little girl, I would always play house and day dream of having a little baby that I could cuddle and take care of. It with you that I was daydreaming about. I loved you even then. When I grew up, I decided on a career where I could work with children and help children learn and grow. I thought of how I would one day help my own child grow. I thought about you. You see, I loved you even then. When I met your father, it wasn’t soon before we were talking about our wishes of having a family. I pictured him holding hands with a sweet little boy. It was you that I saw. I didn’t know at the time, but I know now. It was you and I loved you even then. As you know it took us a long time to find you. On the day we lost our first baby in my belly, we were so sad. But as I lay awake at night, I thought about you. I knew you were out there. I just had to be patient. I loved you so much even then. And then when the time was right, you arrived. The doctor placed you on my chest and you looked up into my eyes like we’d known each other for decades. The year that followed was filled with so much joy. And yes there were also sleepless nights, stuffy noses, blistered gums, toothaches, ear infections, and chapped nipples. But through it all, I loved you even then.
Okay now I’m done sounding like a bad country song. So let me just tell you how honored I am to be your mother. What a wonderful adventure these past 365 days have been. Thank you for a wonderful trip around the sun.

Love, mommy


2 thoughts on “I loved you even then

  1. Very nice letter. That first photo really reminds me how quickly babies grow and change. He looks so grownup already in that photo. I know it’s bittersweet. He’s lucky to have you for his mama.

    Like

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