life is a game of numbers

Liam has no idea what he is holding a photo of here. And although we talk about babies from time to time, beyond that there is no point in explaining this photo to him!  But those are our two frozen embryos. After several weeks of hormone injections, doctors appointments, follicle monitoring, prayers, and crossed fingers, on April 3rd, I completed the first part of our IVF process: the egg retrieval. The doctor was happy to report that she found 9 eggs and 7 of them were mature, or viable in other words. A few days later we got the call that 5 of them had successfully fertilized with Will’s sperm. And then a few more days later, we found out that out of the five, 2 of them have grown into five-day-old embryos and were now ready to be frozen as we await for my body to prepare for the second part of the process: implantation.  It seemed like each time we got the phone call from the doctor that the number had gone down from 9 to 7 to 5 to finally 2, my heart sank a little bit deeper. But at the end of the day we know two is better than zero. Especially considering that the doctor was concerned that I would even be able to make any at all.  It’s amazing to think of all the things that have to go right to get from an egg to a baby. And when you think about it, it really makes all babies a miracle! I still know there is no guarantees with infertility. Both are embryos were “graded high” at 6BA, but that grading system is so subjective and I really have no idea what it means. But what I do know is that those embryos were either meant to be or they weren’t. At this stage, they and God and the universe have already decided their fate and decided whether they are meant to grow for 9 months in my belly or not. But either way we are feeling really hopeful to get to this step and looking forward to being one step closer to meeting our next miracle baby. Or babies.


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